Hi! We are Jane and Nic, a loving couple living in Singapore who happen to enjoy BDSM. We hope that, by being open about our thoughts, sexuality and desire will be more openly talked about in puritanical Asia.
Yup! Or bondage, discipline, submission and masochism. If these words scare you, fret not, the acronym is scarier than it seems.
We are like any other couples in all respects, except that sex (and sometimes life) revolve around some pain, spanking, roleplaying as a student (or slave or thief). Basically, we explore sex a little more than the usual strokes and kisses.
I’m sure we are familiar with Fifty Shades of Gray. If not, it’s a great introduction into the kinky world.
Pain and spanking? Sounds unhealthy
Not really. All our activities, even spanking, is consensual. My girlfriend likes being hurt, in her own special way, and I love it when I see how delighted she is.
An important part of this bdsm play is that she holds all the power. Even if she is tied up, gagged, nipple clamped, whipped or blindfolded, we ensure that her using a special word or action will make me stop EVERYTHING, IMMEDIATELY, NO QUESTIONS ASKED. And that is the key to everything. This safe word lets me know that even if she has tears running from her eyes, the tears are a mixture of happiness and pain.
Plus, by pushing the boundaries on what is considered normal, even shattering any sense of normalcy, we have grown into a couple that is more open about our feelings, fears and desires.
Basically, when we stopped thinking of ourselves as weird — and the idea that Asians should be conservative — we felt more freedom, were able to talk more openly about what we wanted and trusted each other more.
So it’s basically an orgy of wanton sex?
Well, between ourselves – YES! If by wanton sex, you mean sex that actually satisfies both of us, since we are not held back by fears of being abnormal.
But outside of our relationship, we are not that different. We are monogamous, have eyes only for each other and do as ordinary couples do in public. In other words, it is not an excuse to act like animals.
An important point
If you are just starting to explore what turns you on and what you seek in a partner, many so-called doms (or dominants) or masters online are using it as an excuse to be an asshole to someone.
True doms do not see women as lesser or lower beings, act without their consent or degrade them outside of what is agreed upon.
After all, men can be slaves and women can be mistresses. No matter how much power I as a dom roleplay to have, I am beholden ultimately to my girlfriend.
“No men are afraid of their wives. There are only men who respect their wives.” – Ip Man